February 23, 2012

yummy mummy

I found a website via Pinterest (Duh. Of course. Who needs Google anymore?) that might possibly change my life as I know it.
Or this could just be a passing fancy and I might be over it tomorrow and everything will get back to normal.
But I prefer to think I'm on the brink of new and great things. Sounds better and whatnot.

Let me start at the beginning.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

... After that, I hate cooking.

I can't ever remember liking to cook. Never ever. I do remember Moma waking me up at the crack of dawn several times so I could bake biscuits for the family when I was like, seven. Child labor was obviously allowed in our household.
And I remember Moma torturing and abusing me throughout my teenage years by making me cook two or four times a week. Actually, I don't remember a whole lot about that. It's a blur. I block out all bad memories like those.

I tell people that I can't cook, but that's not completely true. I can't cook is more like code for I hate cooking so much, I'd rather starve. I'd rather eat fast food. I'd rather eat ice cream. I'd rather go to Karen's around supper time. Cooking makes me mentally unstable. Cooking makes me sweat profusely.
And for once in my life, I'm not exaggerating when I say that just having someone else talk to me about cooking gives me a big panicky knot in my stomach because I suddenly think to myself, What if one day...I HAVE TO COOK??? And then I start sweating and I get a lump in my throat and I pray.

I've tried to like cooking. Pioneer Woman cooks. And I have to like whatever she likes because I love her. I've even read her cookbook, twice. But I still had to send PW an email letting her know that on this one thing, just this one thing, we differed. Sad, but true.

But! Insert me being on Pinterest, looking up smoothie recipes because I'm on a mission to gain weight (Because I'm underweight and it's a curse.) by giving myself large doses of Tru Food Vegan Berry Powder and Green Superfood, Lemon Lime mixed in a smoothie every morning. And I'll gain twenty pounds within a few months. I hope.

 I found this recipe: Berry Spinach Smoothie


Which led me to the coolest website: Yummy Mummy

I'm drawn to pretty pictures. And Yummy Mummy has the prettiest food photos ever. All the photos you're about to see are stolen from her. I love them. And I want to cook all her recipes... just because they're pretty.
So I went thru some of her stuff and found a few things I'm going to make. Easy things, because I haven't changed my mind about cooking. It's hard, sweaty work and I want the easy route. Because I'm the queen of easy routes and I'm always like, Where the heck is easy street? Because easy is better than difficult.

French Toast with Stewed Berries


Pretty twist on plain ol' french toast, right?
And I love french toast. And I already know how to make it! Congratulations to myself.

Spinach and Egg Fillo Cups


Aren't those the coolest things??? And how easy can you get?

Heart Meringue Cookies


Be still my heart. I need to make those for Lily's Pinkalicious birthday party.

Pear Sorbet in Gingersnap Cups


Pears are one of my favorite things right now. I love them. And I feel really smart when I go to the store and pick one up out of the produce bin and sniff it and say, This one isn't ripe yet. It doesn't smell right. I feel like a for real grocery shopper, a pear connoisseur.
And who knew sorbet was so easy to make? Only 4 ingredients!

Pear, Cheese, and Honey Appetizer


I repeat: I like pears.

And one last recipe...

Pumpkin Cheesecake Dip


All I need to know is, where do you get pumpkin butter? Walmart? Mars? I've never seen it. I need it. I want to dip pears in it. Or maybe just 10 of my fingers.

For me, cooking is all about opening a bag of potato chips.
But maybe... maybe I'll like the easy stuff.
Since it's pretty.
And I'm practical like that.