October 02, 2012

homeless... sorta

Guess what. I moved.
We're out of our apartment, but our new place isn't quite ready to move into so our stuff is in storage and we're homeless. Living in a cardboard box.

This move happened really quick.
One day we were peacefully living in our apartment, listening to our upper neighbor pee every morning, listening to our lower neighbor bang on his ceiling (my floor) every time I so much as blew my nose, and glaring balefully at the apartment manager for making me get rid of my garden, and then the next day I had found a new place for us to live and handed in my notice and we moved out.
I am ever so happy to be out of that apartment. That manager tried making me stay another month. She said it was the law or something. So I called Heather (She's my friend. And an attorney.) and asked her to call that manager and to use her mean voice while she was at it.
So she did and it worked because next thing I knew, they were calling me up and telling me, Of course you can move! Let us know what we can do to help you!
Which I figured was code for, Sorry we lied to you about Idaho landlord/tenant laws...
I'm very thankful for Heather's mean voice right now. Without it, I would still be listening to my neighbor peeing.

Anyway, about that cardboard box. We're not really living in one.
We're staying in a condo. On the lake in Coeur d'Alene. Overlooking the golf course.
I know the guy who owns it and one day I was telling him about me n' Moma staying with a friend for a week or so until our new house is ready for us and he was like, Why don't you stay in my condo at the Terraces? No one stays there. It's nice. It has two bedrooms, one for each of you.
And then I was like, AreyouseriousIwouldlovetocanIgiveyouahugwe'rebestfriendsforever.
And then I came over and saw the condo and was so impressed. My jaw kept dropping and I kept having to drag it around behind me.

This place has lots of toys and fun stuff, but my faves are 1) the view, and 2) the coffee/espresso/cappuccino maker thingy.
I made myself a pumpkin spice cappuccino this morning.
I'll give you the recipe. It's my very own...
Pour your milk and caramel macchiato creamer into a mug. Froth it. Stand amazed at the mini tornado that shoots out of that frothing nozzle. Clean up the froth that somehow frothed everywhere but in your mug. Add a shot of espresso. Blink and flinch and twitch a lot because you wonder if a tornado will come out of the espresso nozzle too. Remember you still have a little bit of pumpkin spice latte that you bought from Starbucks two days ago left over in the fridge. Pour that in with what's left of your frothed milk and shot of espresso. Stir. Nuke it for 80 seconds because by the time you clean up the mess, it's gotten cold. Drink it. Enjoy the view. Take a nap. The end.

There was another cool thing here that I was really excited to try. The bathtub. Even though I'm afraid of drowning in the tub, the water comes out of the ceiling in this one. How cool is that? Like a gentle little waterfall, pouring over you like warm raindrops. Not. That's what I imagined it would be like, but when I turned the water on, instead of a babbling little waterfall flowing down, a giant chunk of water basically fell out of the ceiling and landed in the tub with a bang like an atom bomb. If I had been standing under that water, I would be dead right now. Or my eyeballs would have at least been forced to exit my skull by the force of that water rocketing into my unsuspecting person.
I don't think I've ever been so surprised in my life. One second I was thinking happy thoughts about gentle raindrops, and the next I was checking to see if I had been murdered by the bath water shooting out of the ceiling.
Anyway, you won't have to worry about me drowning in the tub. Because I'm too afraid to use the one here.

Isn't it nice? It's like a free vacation. And just when I wanted a vacation too!
Moving wore me out.
To the point that I wore my shirt on backwards all day.
Then I noticed my plastic shower curtain liner was wet and I wanted it to be dry so I put it in the dryer and had to spend awhile scraping it's melted remains off the back of the dryer.
And when Rachel was spending the night and making herself some popcorn and Moma said, Put it in the microwave for 2 and a half minutes, I hollered out, No! You're supposed to do it for 2 minutes and 30 seconds. That's what the bag says! And Moma was like, That's 2 and a half minutes... And I was like, Oh...

So anyway, we are currently sorta homeless. But although I'm really anxious to set up house in our new place, I'm pretty much enjoying the homeless part.
God is really good to have worked this out for me and Moma. I'm blessed... and spoiled.

She Who Is Glad She Didn't Accidently Commit Suicide In The Dangerous Bathtub