January 25, 2013

startled and uncertain

I repainted my bathroom. But before repainting, I had to scrape some of the old, peeling paint away. Suddenly, while scrapping, a good sized section of the wall fell off. As in, the wall fell off of the wall in a million billion tiny pieces. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
I stood there with my scraper in hand, startled and uncertain.

I took down my stairway handrails so that I could refinish them. Then I tried reattaching them. Two broken nails, four broken screws, three busted anchors, and two giant holes in the wall later, I stood there with the drill in my hand, startled and uncertain. Then I kicked the wall. Twice.

My smoke detector kept beeping and the thing said, If it's beeping at one minute intervals, change out the battery. So I changed out the battery, and it kept beeping. So I took out the battery completely, and it kept beeping. So I pulled the whole thing out of the ceiling, and stood on the ladder with the wires in my hand, startled and uncertain... while the stupid thing still beeped.

I stuck my Starbucks in the microwave to reheat, and the cup caught fire. I stood there, startled and uncertain, wondering if this had ever happened to anyone else or if it was just me.

This morning I got stuck in the snow while backing out of the driveway so I decided to just gun it and unstick myself. I unstuck myself alright. Unstuck myself right into a pine tree and gave my car a busted taillight and a dent the size of the Grand Canyon. I sat there in the silence of the dark morning with the entire contents of my coffee mug dripping down the front of my shirt, startled and uncertain.
Then I banged my head on the steering wheel, rent my clothing, and wailed at the heavens.

Once upon a time, I was a teenager with a giant scrunchie in my giant hair.
I sat before the camera at Olan Mills... startled and uncertain.

Help Me Please