August 30, 2013

karen's family

Karen and Tim had family pictures done again. I love these. The photographer was like, snap, snap, snap, done. I was supposed to help keep the kids in line during the photo shoot, but she was done by the time I arrived.
Look how much the girls have grown! Here's the family a couple years ago, 2011. It's kinda bittersweet. I love the stages they're in, but I miss them being little.


Molly Pop. Funny, rapscallion, rascal. Likes to go commando. 

Lily Nilly. Sweet, princess, cuddly. So very easy to make her happy.

Emma Dear. Bright, always has a plan, girly. She loves to create things.

Hannah Banana. Smiley, quick, sporty. Likes her basketball shorts and BMX bike.

Lucy Goose. Domestic, motherly, tough. Will probably have 6 kids by the time she's 14.

Leah Beah. Smart, airhead, loves to be with the grown ups. She's basically a woman.


And in just a few years, we'll be having weddings and stuff. Sigh. Sniff.

Love,
Where Does The Time Go?

August 29, 2013

making a list

Hi, I'm Sunny Jane and I like making lists. I made one for you today.


1. You know what is so annoying? When bloggers write things like, Oh my gosh something super exciting is about to happen! I'll tell you all about it one day. And then they wait three months to tell you what they were talking about. I read 3 blogs who's authors do that. But they do occasionally remember to make vague remarks about the Unknown Exciting Thing. So anyway, today is my chance to get back at them. Because guess what? I have something super exciting to tell you. But I'm going to make you wait four months before I announce what it is.

2. I have a secret and I'm not going to tell you what it is.

3. I'm just kidding! I'll tell you! I met this guy and we're getting married in four months. I've always wanted a Christmas wedding.

4. What color do you think my wedding should be?

5. I'm just kidding. I'm not really getting married. I met some guys, but they were grody so I decided not to go with it. April Fools! My friend is getting married Saturday afternoon though. Her wedding colors are raspberry, lime, and orange. I'm decorating for it for the next few days.


6. I'm also making chili for our church's 2nd Annual Chili Cook-off on Sunday. You may remember, I totally won that cook-off last year. Winner, winner, chili dinner. That's how I roll.


7. And then I'm throwing a baby shower for my other friend, Heather, on Monday. Which is also Labor Day. Hey, get it? We're having a baby shower on Labor Day? I crack myself up. My friends, Mrs. Hoover and Lizzie, are helping me with it. Her baby is cute. He came early. Our friend, Talia took this photo.


8. Yesterday, I got really stressed out, and got sick, and had a migraine, and cried 7 times because 7 is the number of perfection, and forgot how to speak the English language, and spent the entire day in bed. Rachel came over last night and I was like, Who cracker did eat staninema? And she was like, Are you okay? And I was like, My brain it mushy. And then I plopped down on the couch for the rest of the evening and continued to make no sense. I don't wig out very often, but when I do I go all out and have a meltdown. That's how I roll.

9. Jack told some guys at work that I'm a strict Baptist and they might as well not get any ideas. I need that on a shirt. I would wear it to work everyday.

10. I seriously cannot wait four months to reveal my big secret.

11. Here it is. Get ready. I'm very excited. My sister, her 5 kids, my brother, his wife, and their little girl are ALL coming here for Christmas!



Shelly's kids have never been out here. It's been 6ish years since all the little cousins have been together. You have no idea how many happy tears I've cried. I can't wait. I'm making so many plans. Writing so many lists. Saving money for fun stuff. Ice skating. Sledding. The indoor water park. Snowmen (it better snow while they're here). IMAX. I have a secret Christmas board on Pinterest. I'll make yummy holiday stuff. We'll make homemade gifts. And... don't laugh... I want to do "recycled" gifts too. Like, get together with the girls, go through all our stuff, and pick out things that we love and are nice, but we never use and give those things away. I think it'd be fun. Shelly was supposed to come here this past June, but it didn't work out. I cried. But now I'm so glad that it worked out for Christmas instead. I love Christmas. This one will be the best ever.

Love,
Sorry I Almost Made You Wait Four Months. I Can't Believe I Almost Did That To You.

August 08, 2013

anyway, i just needed to go pee

I went to the farms again yesterday.


I rode around in a combine all day with a farmer named Drew. He was a really nice guy. He told me lots of stuff about farming. Like how hawks love a freshly harvested field because it stirs up all the field mice, and how one time he thrashed a porcupine up into his combine and had to clean it's guts out of the machine. But he was pretty happy that time because most of the guts blew out the chaff blower and there wasn't too much left to clean up.
Let me draw you a little diagram of the combine:

I'm not really sure what they call the chaff blower. That's my made up name for it. It blows out the chaff.

I am sure lots of things happened yesterday. Probably cool things too. I can't remember them though because I drank a coffee on the way down to the farms, and guess what? The farmers all got together around a tire and peed, but guess what? There was nowhere for me to go, that's what. I have no problem roughing it. I'll locate and utilize the nearest shrubbery if that's all there is. But guess what? There isn't a single shrub in a wheat field. There wasn't even a fence post. There were, however, 7 farmers and zero privacy.
But I'd like to state, for the record, that I didn't whine or complain at all. I held that Starbucks for 5 hours. At which point, my eyes started watering and I finally burst out, OHMYGOSH, DREW! I am going to PEE on this SEAT. I  hope you don't MIND. It's a good thing it's plastic covered.
Drew was like, There ain't no ladies room out here, but if you don't mind doing things farmer style... here's some paper towels. 
I was like, I don't care, so long as it's private style.
So Drew drove us down a hill, away from all the other farmers working the field, and I accepted his paper towels. But since the entire cockpit is made of glass and has giant rear view mirrors, the only place I could go was directly in back of the combine. I figured this was no problem. I would skip cheerfully behind the combine, I would hover, I would pee, I would live happily ever after. I skipped alright. Skipped right into the chaff blower. That thing blows like 40 tornadoes and 5 hurricanes. I've never blinked so hard and frantically in my life. I was like, Am I in Kansas yet, Toto? I still had grand ideas of hovering though. But I am here to tell you, it is actually impossible to hover during a hurricane. And I am here to ask you, have you ever sat down in a stubble field and gone pee while a hurricane blows over your head, and your arms are flailing around trying to protect yourself from said hurricane, and you're just praying that none of the other farmers will drive over the hillside and see you? And then you pray that a field mouse won't run across your leg or something, and that the flock of hawks circling overhead won't dive bomb you? Well I have, and it is many things. Fun is not one of those things. Itchy IS one of those things. Awkward is another one of those things. Also, I had straw stuck in all the places where I sit down for the rest of the day. Which was also itchy and squirmy.
I feel that this experience was impressive enough to put on future resumes should the occasion ever arise.

May God bless all farmers.

Love,
She Who Lived To Tell The Story

August 03, 2013

selfies: i just want to be like everyone else

I have some friends on Facebook who love posting their selfies.
Karen has some friends on Instagram who also love posting their selfies.
Little do they know, their selfies are a huge source of amusement for me. Whenever I'm feeling a little depressed, I do a few things to cheer myself up: Watch Dr. Who, drink coffee, watch Psych, and look at people's selfies.
Anyway, I've really been feeling the peer pressure to be cool like everyone else, and put my bathroom mirror to it's proper use.
So I had a selfie shoot. It really boosted my self esteem.

(Disclaimer: If you are a selfie taker, please don't be offended. I'm not making fun of you. Okay... maybe a little. But, please keep taking selfies. I couldn't live without them.)

Presenting: Me In All The Classic Selfie Poses

About to kiss my shoulder. It doesn't have to make sense. 

Duck lips

Duck lips in da hood

Oh my gosh! I had no idea my cell phone was taking this!

Justin Beiber

I love this pomegranate  

Drunk in the ladies room at the club. 
(Disclaimer 2: I've never been drunk.)

Still in the ladies room at the club. 
(Disclaimer 3: Nor have I ever been in a club.)

You want me to be your baby moma. 
(Disclaimer 4: I am not related to Mr. Bean.)

I love T-rex. They're my favorite.

How I really look. Just in case you forgot.

Confession: It took me forever to take all these pictures because I was laughing so hard. I don't see how people have the time to do this on a regular basis.

Love,
Keeping Up With All The Teenagers

August 02, 2013

hello

It's been so long since I've written that I'm, like, totally confused by the sight of my keyboard.
I've been busy. Family is busy. Church is busy. Work is really busy. My house is busy. My brain is busy. Plans are busy, and there's no end in sight yet.
But it's all been a good busy so it's okay. I've missed writing though, and it's kinda nice to be clicking away at the alphabet right now.

So anyway, hi there, you guys! Happy summer to you! I'll tell you everything I've been up to, and it'll be all disconnected, and random, and busy, and I'm sure you won't mind.

I made jam last night. Mexican Vanilla Peach Jam and Strawberry Peach Jam. It didn't set. (Why does that happen? All I did was reduce the sugar.) So basically, I guess, I made a fruity, syrupy stuff that can be poured over ice cream and pancakes. I made plum jam last year, and it was perfect. I'd just like everyone to know that. I love making jam. I could make jam all day. It makes me feel smart. Unless it doesn't set. Then I just feel like a loser.

I love and adore those lids.

I just made these homemade pore strips. And I'm here to say, those puppies work. I'm also here to say, those puppies hurt like fire and brimstone. And I'd like to go a little farther, and just warn everyone, don't put these pore strips anywhere near your eyebrows. Unless you'd like to be eyebrowless. I speak from recent experience. I no longer have bushy eyebrows. These pore strips will not only clean out your pores, but will also remove all facial hair, and about 4 layers of skin. But since they worked, I'll be using them again. I'm tough like that.

I have a terrible itch to do some sewing. Say, whaaat??? I hate sewing so I don't know where the itch is coming from. I want to make a dress ( something like this dress), and a quilt. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should probably see a doctor.

I'm making hand soap as we speak. It's boiling on the stove right now. It's grapefruit scented. Grapefruit is such a nice, fresh scent. I'll post the recipe for you if it works! And if it doesn't work, I'll never mention it again, and homemade hand soap will go onto my list of things to never do again.

I've been in a very nesty mood lately. I keep making things and redecorating the house. I cleaned out the craft room, and turned it into a little girl's room. It isn't completely finished yet, I need new bedding and curtains, but it's so cute. I took before and almost after photos, but I accidently deleted them all. So you'll just have to imagine it because I'm too lazy to take new ones.

I had this conversation with a cop in my driveway yesterday:
Me: *gets out of truck. walks towards house.*
Cop: Ma'am?
Me: I didn't do it.
Cop: We know about that car.
Me: Car?
Cop: Yeah... we have the keys. *waves keys in my face*
Me: That's good. *looks confused*
Cop: We arrested the guy.
Me: How sad.
Cop: Well, I just wanted you to know so you weren't wondering.
Me: Thank you.
Now I'm just wondering, what was he talking about and who got arrested? Will I ever know? Why was he in my driveway? These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

I had this conversation with a grody, old guy the other day, a grody guy that I had never seen before in my life:
Me: *rakes flowerbed*
Grody Guy: *pulls into the parking lot near me*
Grody Guy: Hey... am I in your way?
Me: Nope.
Grody Guy: Really? Cause I was kinda hoping I was in your way...
Me: Nope, you aren't.
Grody Guy: Did you have a nice weekend?
Me: Yep.
Grody Guy: Cause you look chipper today.
Me: Thank you.
Grody Guy: I like your hair up like that... course I also really like your hair down too.
Me:
Notice the top part of my left eyebrow that isn't there? Pore strips, man.

This brings me to something that's really been getting on my nerves lately. I'm a creep magnet. I'd love to say I'm a hot guy magnet, but alack, that'd be a lie. I do, however, attract creepers like nobody's business. And I just want to know, do they honestly think I'm interested? Do they really think they're being all witty and cool or something? I'm a polite person, and it isn't easy for me to tell them to bug off, but in the last several months, I've decided that there's no need for politeness anymore. They are gross. I will tell them so.
Thank you for listening to my ranting. The end.

Some other things that I don't like: White ice cream. White chickens. White chocolate. White bread. And parties of any kind. Also, dog poop.

I'm completely obsessed with honeybees right now. I want to be a beekeeper. But two things stand in my way: It's expensive to start up beekeeping, and my landlord is all frowny face over having "pets". But it's okay. In the meantime, I've read about 20 books on beekeeping (thank you, Rachel, for being a good librarian friend, and getting all those books for me), and I buy things with bees on them. Like my new coffee canister. It has a little bumblebee on the front. My favorite books so far were Plan Bee (Which Rachel bought for me. Yay for Rachel!) and Homegrown Honeybees. Did you know that a queen bee lays up to 2000 eggs per day? And the worker bees get to decide whether or not those eggs will be a new queen or more workers? And what the baby bee will be when it grows up is determined by what the nurse bees feed it? Did you know that it takes approximately a dozen bees, the pollen/nectar from 2600 flowers, and 850 miles of bee flight to make up just one lone teaspoon of honey? Did you know bees secrete a "home" scent so they'll know which hive is theirs? That's one of my favorite things about bees. Home scent. Bees are cool.

I found this bee print on Pinterest. It's from Ello Lovely, and I want to buy it.

All the towns around here had parades in July. We participated in them all. I don't like watching parades, but I love having a float in the parade.

You can't even see the float for the people. That's some of my church. I like them.

Here's some pictures of the girls:

Lily, the princess

Emma, the homemaker


A bunch of Charlie Chaplins

Isn't Karen so pretty in this picture? And Molly's face... that girl cracks us up.

Emma's bestie, Emma, and Hannah

Molly-pop being herself

Emma, Hannah, Karen, Leah, and Lucy. Leah's looking so much like Karen these days.

My job is expanding. Mostly, I'm still a gardener. I'm also a house/dog sitter. As in, I'm living in my client's house indefinitely. This is his vacation home, and he doesn't like it being empty. He comes back for business every now and then, and I go home on those days. I'm fine with this... there's a pool and a hot tub, and pretty much everything else you could imagine. But also, he has about 14,000 acres of farm land a couple hours away, and I'm getting to participate in the harvesting this year. You have no idea how excited I am about this. I went to the farms for the first time yesterday. It was beautiful, and I rode in a combine. And besides the farms, he's putting in some housing developments, and I get to work with landscape architects on the design. Actually, let me clarify, they fired the architect, hired my old boss, Jack, from the golf course, and now he and I are doing all the design ourselves. It's bigger than anything I've ever done, but surprisingly easy.
Speaking of Jack. When I stopped working at the golf course a few years ago, the thing I missed the most were my co-workers. I missed Jack and his wife, Mary Ann. I missed the crew. I was used to seeing them everyday and it made me really sad to say goodbye. But now Jack and Mary Ann both work with me everyday, and I think it's the coolest thing. There are some days when I wonder if I'll wake up and find this job is all a really awesome dream or something. I love my job. It's such a blessing.

Look at those tires! They're huge! The sickle is 40 feet across.

Mary Ann and I always forget to tie things down in the back of the truck. So one day, we're driving down I90, and suddenly I look behind me and see a tree go flying down the interstate, and all the cars scattering behind us. Have you ever run down the middle of a busy interstate to retrieve a tree? Have you ever run down the middle of the interstate with said tree on your shoulder? I like to live on the edge like that.
One day, we were driving in the truck, heading down to Coeur d'Alene to work some place, and Mary Ann says to me, Have you ever noticed that it's always colder down here? And I said, Mary Ann... I just turned on the A/C. And she was like, Oh. Anyway. 
She and I get along really well, and we're always amazed by our ability to stay alive on a daily basis.
She bought me this tablecloth. I have a thing for vintage tablecloths.


This is my brother, Jason:


This is my sister, Karen:


We just discovered they're twins. We never knew before Karen's mustache.

I'm helping out with decorating for a wedding that's taking place in just a few weeks:

 Congratulations to Marco and Lydia!

She received so many gifts at her shower!

I throw birdseed out in my backyard every few days or so. I love seeing all the birds hopping around on the ground, chirping happily. I feel like I'm helping God keep his eye on the sparrow.

I laugh louder than everyone else at church. I didn't know this until a lot of people started pointing it out. Rachel paid me a really nice compliment the other day. She was like, I knew you were in a bad mood because you weren't laughing really loud at everything like you normally do. 
Some other friends told me that they wanted to sit by me so they could, hear you laughing like a horse.
Well now. I'm happy to have that reputation.

Love,
Excuse Me While I Go Take A Nap Because I'm Tired