No I'm not

I am not an idiot.
Sometimes I might act like it, but I'm not.
I might say or do things without thinking it thru, but still I'm not an idiot.
It's just that I get caught unawares occasionally.
More often than not.
You don't need to rub it in.
I'm fully aware of my.....condition.....of unawareness.
I know that I need you to draw pictures for me.


That said.....


I miscalculated, and overdrew my checking account.
I didn't know.
I pulled up to the drivethru window to make a deposit, blissfully unaware.
The three ladies crowding in the window to console me were all very apologetic, but the overdraft fees had sucked me dry.
They told me they loved me, looked forward to seeing me the next time I came by.
And offered to paperclip a tissue to my deposit slip.
The bright side of it was that I did have enough $$$ to get me out of the red, and they gave me an apple flavored sucker.
I am very easily distracted and made happy, hence the apple flavored sucker.


Did you know that if your radio is possessed and won't shut off (even when you turn off the ignition) it will run down your car battery?
I know this now.
My radio has had a short for almost two years.
I should get it fixed.
That hasn't happened yet though.....
The other night I came home and shut off the car.
Took the keys out and everything.
Fifteen minutes later my radio was still blaring Bob Marley.
I tapped it, I slapped it, I punched it, and I even tried kicking it.
I was going to just leave it.
I figured it would turn off by morning.
But, some glimmer of intelligence flickered in my otherwise blank mind.
I called my friend, Chase, and he said, yes it would run down my battery, but I could just pull the fuse.
Since I didn't know where the fuse was or which one to pull, I drove over to Chase's house.
He located and pulled the fuse.
The fuse that says radio is the one to pull in this situation.
And now my radio is not only off, but also completely dead.
I really wish I knew how to locate and pull a fuse myself.


I also made a boxed cake.
I forgot to add the water.
I thought I already had.


I.am.not.an.idiot.