Moderation with my phone

I’ve started a few new things with my phone. I rely on my phone for just about everything. Reminders to keep my absent minded brain organized. Notes and calendar for organization as well. Alarm clock. Calculator. Shopping apps. Push pay. Budgeting. Emails, phone calls, texts. Social media. Pinterest for almost all recipes and party ideas. Spotify. Audio books. Camera and editing. Maps. Blogging. Bible study. It’s all right here on my phone and my phone is in my hand or pocket all the time. I depend on it.  So I have been trying to set a few boundaries for myself to cut a few of those ties with my phone. I don’t plan to get rid of it. I don’t plan to resort to a flip phone (although I miss the flip phone days sometimes).But moderation with my phone is something that I’m really wanting right now. I’m weary of this dumb thing and the multitude of strifes it spreads. My phone has become a very negative thing for me when it could easily just be a useful tool if I were more prudent with it.

So here is what I am currently doing. And praying these things become habit and not cast aside.

Bedtime kisses with Daddy

I stopped using my phone as an alarm clock. It now charges in another room over night and I have a small alarm clock for my night stand. This is a big deal for me! Using my phone as an alarm clock meant that it was the first thing I looked at every morning. I would immediately spend my first 10-15 minutes awake checking emails, social media, budgeting, and various other apps. Stress right away. But now I spend my first hour of the day without my phone and I LOVE IT. I send Aaron and his lunchbox off to work. I change and snuggle Luna before putting her back to bed with her bottle. Switch the laundry, take out the trash, clean my room, feed the dogs if I am dog sitting. Loving my family and home. This is so much better for me vs starting my day with an onslaught of phone stimulation.

And on a plus side for Aaron as well, he told me this morning that he gets up about 10 minutes earlier since the alarm clock has a much shorter snooze than my phone. And he likes it way better. I have only been doing this for four days and I am astonished by how much of a difference it has made for me!

Since Luna was born, I ask myself daily: has Luna seen me without my phone today? Has she seen me reading a book or my Bible, doing a puzzle or playing a game, have we gone for a walk or been outside at all? Or has she just seen me checking my phone? I determined before she was born that I would not allow a pointless phone to distract me from her needs. And this is a promise that I have kept 99.9% of the time. My memories of my mom are of seeing her reading her Bible first thing. Cleaning house and doing school with us. Creating beautiful flowerbeds and cooking. Taking us to the library. Introducing us to her favorite movies and singing all day. She didn’t have a cell phone. She had a phone with a long cord and when she talked to her mom or sister, she would pace the floor and say, as she listened attentively,” Yeah.... yeah...” But the way she said it always sounded like “Meow.... meow.” And we laughed so much about that. A random memory, but is the only thing that I remember about my mom and the phone!

I want Luna to have far better memories of me than Momma with her phone. And how can I teach my child moderation if I have none myself? What you do in moderation, your child will do in excess. 

We walk down the street together in the afternoons so she can eat dirt and pinecones.

I put time limits on a lot of my apps. They shut down at certain times and I can’t use them. This is so helpful to me. It’s also helpful to have someone else set the password for that so you can’t ask for more time on those apps.

I set a book on the end table by the couch. Instead of my phone. I have increments of time during the day where I sit down with a cup of coffee or with Luna in my lap. I’d rather have a book available than my phone while I’m sitting there.

Personalized text and ring tones. If I set my phone in another room, I want to know who is calling or texting. If it’s Aaron or my boss, I want to know so that I can go get my phone immediately. If it’s anyone else, they can wait until I have the time.

I turn my ringer off at certain times. Like if I’m cooking or house cleaning. Hearing my ringer or texts going off will slow me down. I feel the urge to go check it.

I just started leaving my phone at home when we go to church. Or when we go anywhere together when Aaron is driving and has his phone with him. I don’t need it so why am I taking it? 

I deleted my Instagram app. For who knows how long. Maybe a few days, maybe forever. I haven’t determined a time limit, I just decided to do it and did it. I love Instagram, but I also have to recognize that it is the app that wastes the majority of my time, it causes me the most anxiety, it provokes me to the most anger, and it causes me to think the worst of people. There are some wonderful things about that platform. You can connect with people in ways that you normally wouldn’t, there are many encouraging and beautiful accounts to follow, memes to laugh at. But at what cost? This is what I’ve been asking myself. Does the positive outweigh the negative? For me the answer is no it doesn’t right now. So why I am keeping it around?

The sound of bath water running makes Luna shriek with happiness. And she cries when it’s time to get out.

Using apps that are more worthwhile. YouVersion, Spotify, Blogger, Libby, etc. It’s hard for me to have time to sit and read a book. But I started listening to audio books. This is something that I’ve never cared to do before, but I am loving it. Although if the reader has an annoying voice, I will return that book so fast! But an audio book is something that I can listen to while cooking, cleaning, working, showering, driving, etc. And it isn’t a waste of my time. I use Libby right now. It’s free, but it has a few negative aspects (half the books I search for are either unavailable or on hold for the next 24 weeks) so I’m considering trying something different. I connect my phone to our bluetooth speaker and leave my phone in a different room or just in a spot where I can’t see it. I do this with Spotify as well.

These things have, so far, been pretty easy changes. A phone is a habit. An addiction for a lot of people. Too much reliance. It’s just ridiculous to me how much my life revolves around the need of it. But it’s a great tool with moderation.