Enneagram 7

I’ve been learning about the Enneagram personality types, along with a few friends, over the past several weeks. It’s been SO informative. We are watching a series of sermons by Matt Brown at Sandals Church on Youtube. There are a couple versions of his sermons; I prefer the ones at his regular church service. He’s more natural and at ease in those.

Luna is an Enneagram 7. The enthusiast. A visionary. A big, bright light of a personality. Creative, forging ahead into the unknown adventure, extrovert, loves every person she meets, a know it all, a little petty, has a sassy mouth on her, and ready to take on the entire world. Every personality has unhealthy and healthy tendencies, and personal growth (a whole lot of humility) determines where you are at with that. I LOVED hearing about her personality last night as we watched the sermon on 7’s and read the informational print outs. 

Toothless kid. She lost her 6th tooth today!

Things to do/not do for a 7:

Do:

Have fun with them

Be spontaneous with them

Enjoy their grand visions

Don’t:

Be clingy

Ask them to do tedious things

Micromanage them

I struggle with most of these things, except  “don’t be clingy”. And that is the only one that doesn’t seem to apply to Luna at all; she’s incredibly clingy and needs me every second of the day. 

I would rather check off my chore list than have fun. I would rather not see another person for 3 months than to hang out. I need to plan everything out, and spontaneous plans make me want to die. Grand visions are not cautious so why do that? I’m a recovering micromanager. I can get on board with the tedious thing though, my impatience sees to that.  

As I read thru these things, I felt immense pity for Luna and her bright light of a personality. She lives with a light snuffer, poor thing. I am here to douse the flame with water, and keep everything on track with my very responsible, cautious, rule loving Enneagram 1 personality.

I’m setting some goals to let her little light shine. I have to force myself to make play dates for her (kiiilll meeee). I have to stop in the middle of my incredibly fun chore list and make a bumble bee out of construction paper with her. I have to read a book to her before bed instead of just going to bed myself as quickly as possible. I have to let her learn things her own way, make messes, fail and restart. I need to be so excited for her. She craves it. Every little thing means so much to her. 

She insisted on googly eyes for her babydoll (effectively turning it into a murder doll). And she insists on climbing every tree whether it’s climbable or not.

Every morning she wants to run down the street “racing” Aaron’s car as he leaves for work. “DON’T CHEAT!!”, she yells at him as he revs the engine. 

She wants to be friends with every person at the grocery store when I want to get in and get out. 

The guys at the 7/11 know her now. It’s her favorite place to stop because she knows she will get a treat there with Dada no matter what. 

Her plans for the future include being a mother of 4 children named David, Goliath, Jonathan, and Flower, and perhaps being a fire fighter. When I tell her she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up, she is gobsmacked and I can see the big plans behind her eyes as the wheels turn. When I read about fashion designers, astronauts, the old explorers like Lewis and Clark, deep sea divers- this is Luna. 

She made herself bunny ears and a bunny tail one day around Easter. And then wore them to church for Easter. She frequently does her own make up for church, too, and feels very beautiful. Aaron told me someone told her she looked like a clown one Sunday and I was ready to throw down so then he wouldn’t tell me who said it. 

She informed me last night that she now has a “real enemy”. A visiting boy at VBS mocked her for getting squirted with the waterhose during games. “Hahahhaah! You got hit with the WATER, you doodoo butt!!!” She was mortally offended, and hit him. He hit her back. She said,”I had to defend myself!”. I let her know that, no, hitting him was not the way and that was in no way self defense. She lamented that when Daphne says poop butt, it’s a joke, but with this kid, he meant it. She “needed” to defend her honor. I can guarantee you that she will enthusiastically be his enemy for the rest of his doodoo butt life. 

She decided to be a cowboy for VBS. We didn’t have a costume, but this was really no problem for her. She had a vision for her costume and she made it happen. She got a hat from Lily, and made the rest. After she was fully ready, she checked herself out in the mirror and said,”Now that’s what I call just about perfect!” The confidence! Then she asked me for western food for supper. I told her I wasn’t sure what that is as I made her a PB&J. She responded emphatically,”Hard biscuits and bitter coffee. Bitter as the muddy river waters.” She didn’t want Aaron to take her inside the church for VBS because he wasn’t dressed appropriately for cowboy night in his shorts and t shirt. She does everything all. the. way. I complimented her the next morning,”I loved your costume. I love how you just came up with it in your own head and made it happen. That made me so happy!” And then, because I am a type 1, I cautioned her to not get a big head about this. She said,”Well, I’m very happy other people have abilities, too. Buuuuut, I really do have great ideas and make cute stuff.” My 20 year old 5 year old kid!

The boots with spurs!!

Every night this week, Luna was ready to fly out of the door to VBS. Friends! Fun! Games! And every night she came home and said irritably,”There was TEACHING again. So much teaching. I thought it would be all fun, but it wasn’t.” But the next night she was ready to fly away again, craving to see new people and experience new things. 

I bought Luna quite a few craft kits thinking she would love them. She loves to create! She hated them. She hated latch hook. She hated the instructions. It cramped her creativity. She’s the type of spirit who wants to throw a can of paint at a canvas and see what happens. So now I just buy bits of crafty stuff and see what she comes up with. We also pick up any trash we find out and about and she makes stuff with that, too. I draw the line at food related trash and gross things, but she feels it’s very cruel of me. That McDonalds wrapper could really be something! 

The other day, as Aaron tried to help Luna with math, and she was clearly feeling strongly that she knew all the answers and didn’t need to listen to her Dada, she said,”All of your words are like false gods to me. Period. FULL period.” (translation: I will not listen to you anymore than I would listen to a false god. Speak all you want, I will not be swayed.)

Aaron said his usual,”Interesting sentiment, Luna. Now take away 2.” Meanwhile, I nearly fell over laughing my head off at her disrespectful mouth. It’s hard to teach her the right things to say when I’m laughing at it all. What 5 year old goes with “false gods” though?!!

Luna gets in trouble all day for constantly interrupting us. She is certain that anything she has to say cannot wait and is way more important and interesting than anything or anyone else. It doesn’t matter how much she gets into trouble for this, it’s worth it to get her own words and opinions out. This is so typical of a 7!

Luna frequently gets out of bed when she shouldn’t. She loves to sneak into our room, or come tell us “a really important secret… can I please have another snack?”. One day she got into trouble for this as we exasperatedly told her to stay in bed, for the final time! When she woke up from

her nap, I found a wet spot of pee on her floor. She said, with minimal shame,”You said I couldn’t come out of my room. I needed to pee so I peed on the floor.” 7’s are petty when unhealthy!

I laughed so much watching this sermon that was basically all about Luna. And then listening to my friend describe her son (also a 7), and all of it just so relatable to me because of Luna. My friend said her biggest regret with her son was not allowing herself to have more fun with him. I can really see this in myself with Luna. I rely on Aaron to be the fun parent because he has a lot of leaning toward a 7 personality, and it comes more naturally to him.

Next week we learn about 8’s (the challenger) which I am pretty sure is Daphne’s personality. And then 9’s (the peacemaker) are the last type and I am pretty sure this is Aaron’s personality. 

This is what I hope for my little sunshine 7 who does everything with all of her might: I hope she will love the Lord her God with all her heart, soul, and mind. And love her neighbor as herself. She is so capable. I hope I can be a guide rather than a micromanager.