On Being a Mother

 Happy Mother’s Day! 

Our’s was a busy one, but I stayed up late to write this out for myself, and wanted to share it here. 

I love being a mother of two little girls. Two wildly different personalities, two beautiful strong spirits and wills (I loved noticing today that Jesus “waxed strong in spirit” as a child. It made me think of my girls). There are certainly bittersweet and negative parts to it, but I’m thankful it’s a part of my life. Motherhood isn’t God’s plan for every woman, whether by decision or grief. But it’s the plan for my life, and I learn something from these two girls every day. Luna asked me, the other day, if she may cut bangs to “fit in better with the older girls and feel more confident”. My heart broke!! I told her yes to the bangs, but then reminded her of all the gifts God has given her that bring true confidence; one of her gifts is that she teaches her parents new things almost daily.

My heart genuinely overflows, sometimes in frustration but mostly with love.

Hearing such a tiny

Itty bitty 

Little voice

Counting numbers 

Singing songs

Barely any diction

As we walk along

It’s almost unbearable

This level of adorable 

I feel like I might die

The death certificate will read

Her heart overflowed 

From tiny voice

Cuteness

  Overload

-Loryn Brantz

My favorite parenting book, at the moment, is Parenting In Christ: Treasures for Parenting from Jesus by Christina Dronen. I love her emphasis on humility and love; treating children as Christ did with respect and tenderness.

There are also so many magnificent women and mothers in the Bible to emulate and learn from. I’ve spent most of the day reading up on the 11 biblical mothers below. None of them are sinless- they’re regular humans, and many have mistakes and failure recorded in the scripture along with their strengths. I appreciate them so much, and am deeply thankful God chose to document their lives for us to ponder on. I hope to be this kind of biblical example for my girls. Humble, kind, gentle, strong, unwavering, faithful, repentant, submitting unto each other, forgiving, loving, a peacemaker rather than a peacekeeper, angry without sin, confident in the Lord, loyal, focused, diligent, and seeking the Lord with all of my heart.

1)

Genesis 16 and 21

Hagar, a mother, a slave, and abused. She flees the abuse. God sought her in her time of distress, and gave her one of the greatest promises in the Bible; nearly identical to Abraham’s promise from God.

Abraham listened to her, when she returned, and named their son Ishmael as God instructed her. 

When Sarah casts Hagar away, after Issac’s birth, God again seeks her out and cares for her. God honors his promise to her and makes a great nation of Ishmael. When no one else cared for her, God did.

“Thou God seest me.” I love this. There have been times when I felt that God did not see me, and Hagar’s words are currently some of my favorite in the Bible.

Also, God frequently likens himself to a mother- protective, comforting, unconditional love, a mother hen, a mother bear, a woman in labor. I love seeing how God sees mothers and appreciates our qualities enough to draw comparisons to his own character.

Gen 16:10-13

“And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.

And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Behold, thou art with child and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction.

And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.

And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?”

2)

1 Samuel 1 and 2

Hannah, loved by her husband, barren, longs for children. Misunderstood by her husband who felt his love would be enough to assuage her grief over infertility. Hannah prays fervently, alone in her agony. Eli the priest, misunderstanding, wrongfully demeans her. God hears her prayer when her husband and her priest did not understand her.

Hannah and God enter into a promise together: if the Lord gives her a child, she will dedicate it to the Lord’s service in the temple. The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, and he goes along with Hannah’s promise to the Lord in giving up their son to the service of God in the temple. I cannot imagine doing this; seeing my little child raised by another. Hannah’s faith is incredible. Although Elkanah lacks awareness in the beginning, I love his gentleness with her when he says,”Do what seemeth thee good.” He’s learned to trust her decisions.

1 Sam 1:20-23

“Wherefore it came to pass, when the time was come about after Hannah had conceived, that she bare a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, Because I have asked him of the Lord.

And the man Elkanah, and all his house, went up to offer unto the Lord the yearly sacrifice, and his vow.

But Hannah went not up; for she said unto her husband, I will not go up until the child be weaned, and then I will bring him, that he may appear before the Lord, and there abide for ever.

And Elkanah her husband said unto her, Do what seemeth thee good; tarry until thou have weaned him; only the Lord establish his word. So the woman abode, and gave her son suck until she weaned him.”

3)

2 Kings 4

The Shummanite woman, a great woman, wife, barren, a woman of discernment, wisdom, and leadership. She tells her husband they’re creating room for the prophet in their home. Assertive. Elisha, seeing her faithfulness and hospitality, promises her she will have a son which comes to pass the following year. When her child dies a few years later, she tells her husband she’s leaving, going to see the prophet for help. Decisive. The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, and she goes to the prophet, not her husband. When Elisha implies that his servant will handle everything, she refuses to leave without him, standing her ground. Confident. Elisha listens to her, travels with her to her home, and brings her child back to life.

This story is so fascinating to me! The woman is the one who constrained Elisha to stay and eat. She made the plans for the prophet’s room. Elisha’s promise is to the woman, not her husband. She seems pragmatic rather than unbelieving when Elisha promises her a child, accepting her situation. She jumps into action when the child dies. She communicates everything with her husband who seems humble, and trusts her entirely. I love seeing this dynamic.

2 Kings 4:22-30

“And she called unto her husband, and said, Send me, I pray thee, one of the young men, and one of the asses, that I may run to the man of God, and come again.

And he said, Wherefore wilt thou go to him to day? it is neither new moon, nor sabbath. And she said, It shall be well.

Then she saddled an ass, and said to her servant, Drive, and go forward; slack not thy riding for me, except I bid thee.

So she went and came unto the man of God to mount Carmel. And it came to pass, when the man of God saw her afar off, that he said to Gehazi his servant, Behold, yonder is that Shunammite:

Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well:

And when she came to the man of God to the hill, she caught him by the feet: but Gehazi came near to thrust her away. And the man of God said, Let her alone; for her soul is vexed within her: and the Lord hath hid it from me, and hath not told me.

Then she said, Did I desire a son of my lord? did I not say, Do not deceive me?

Then he said to Gehazi, Gird up thy loins, and take my staff in thine hand, and go thy way: if thou meet any man, salute him not; and if any salute thee, answer him not again: and lay my staff upon the face of the child.

And the mother of the child said, As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. And he arose, and followed her.”

4)

Luke 1

Elizabeth, of the daughters of Aaron. Wife of Zacharias the priest, both of them righteous, walking together in God’s commandments and ordinances blameless. Well stricken in years, and barren. Gifted a child from God, John the Baptist, in her old age. Filled with the Holy Ghost. The first to prophecy of Christ, the blessed fruit of Mary’s womb, after Mary becomes pregnant. Humble as she rejoiced in Mary’s coming, the mother of the Lord. Strong and confident as she told her loved ones that her baby would be named John in obedience to God, not Zacharias after his father and the custom. 

I particularly love the teamwork in this marriage. Both follow God, both are righteous, both are blameless, both are filled with the Holy Ghost, both are willing to give their child the name God chose, both prophecy. They work in tandem.

Luke 1:60-67

“And his mother answered and said, Not so; but he shall be called John.

And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name.

And they made signs to his father, how he would have him called.

And he asked for a writing table, and wrote, saying, His name is John. And they marvelled all.

And his mouth was opened immediately, and his tongue loosed, and he spake, and praised God.

And fear came on all that dwelt round about them: and all these sayings were noised abroad throughout all the hill country of Judaea.

And all they that heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be! And the hand of the Lord was with him.”

5)

Exodus 2, Exodus 6, Numbers 26

Jochebed, lineage of Levi, mother of Aaron, Miriam, and Moses. Obeyed God, defied those who had the rule over her, and saved the life of her baby. Blessed by God, and given her child back for a short time to nurse him until weaned. There must have been so much terror in her heart alongside her faith in God, worrying every day that her baby would be discovered. Yet still faithful. Her faith is phenomenal as she puts baby Moses into the crocodile infested Nile river, in a basket, with hope in God’s care. I love that she had Miriam beside her, helping to save her little brother’s life. Mother and daughter team, risking everything together. I wonder what conversations were like between Jochebed and Amram during those months. The Bible doesn’t tell us if he helped her, or was against her plan. I like to believe that he helped her in any way he could. It was no small feat to keep a baby a quiet secret for so long. It must have been so difficult to give Moses back to Pharaoh’s daughter; it would have taken enormous strength. I tend to think of her as “Moses’ mother”, but she raised two other strong leaders: Aaron the priest, and Miriam the prophetess both of whom helped Moses in leading Israel out of captivity.

Exodus 2:1-8

“And there went a man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of Levi.

And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months.

And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river's brink.

And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him.

And the daughter of Pharaoh came down to wash herself at the river; and her maidens walked along by the river's side; and when she saw the ark among the flags, she sent her maid to fetch it.

And when she had opened it, she saw the child: and, behold, the babe wept. And she had compassion on him, and said, This is one of the Hebrews' children.

Then said his sister to Pharaoh's daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Hebrew women, that she may nurse the child for thee?

And Pharaoh's daughter said to her, Go. And the maid went and called the child's mother.”

6)

Luke 1

Mary, young teenager, humble in stating her need for a Savior, fully trusting in God’s plan for her life. Stoning was the consequence for pregnancy before marriage, but she did not doubt, nor falter. She believed God, protected herself by hastily going to Elisabeth’s in the hill country, and praised God for his mercy on her. To have such tremendous faith at such a young age is amazing. One of my favorite things about her is her way of pondering and considering everything about Jesus. Nothing was unnoticed by her. I love the interactions with Mary and Joseph together- “And Joseph and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.” Joseph is so kind to Mary, so noble, and a hands on father.

We see Mary so many times again; the wife of a carpenter and then a widow, mother of several children, worrying over her son, marveling at the words spoken of him and by him, believing in his miraculous power, grieving at the death of her son and Savior, so much grief for one person to bear, gathering with the early Christians:

“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”

“And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.”

“the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.”

“When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.”

“These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.”

Mary’s continued relationship with the disciples is so intriguing to me. Her children still lived, but Jesus commends her into John the Beloved’s care. Their friendship must have been so knitted together. Mary is likely with the Christians on the day of Pentecost, and I can’t help but wonder how that felt for her as Jesus’ mother. She raised him from newborn to the cross. She kept things in her heart, pondering and meditating. She watched him closely and believed in him. She knew every part of him. Her grief and loss was intense when he left, ascending to the Father never to be seen again on this side of eternity. I imagine her meeting with the disciples and other followers of Jesus as they all grieved, stunned by the earth-side loss of their beloved Savior, figuring out how to go on. But then the Comforter comes and I just wonder if Mary thought,”There he is. My son, Jesus.”

Luke 1:46-49

“And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.”

7)

Judges 4 and 5

Judges 5:7 tells us Deborah was a mother in Israel. I don’t know if she birthed children, but either way, God chose to record her as a mother for us to learn by. She was the wife of Lapidoth. She was chosen by God to be a judge over the nation of Israel, a prophetess, and general of Israel’s army. She was a woman of incredible leadership, wisdom, discernment, strategy, and fear of the Lord. I love that Barak refuses to go into battle without her leadership, and her response is,”I will surely go with thee,” and then reminds him that the Lord will give the enemy into the hand of a woman (Jael). Barak is in Hebrews 11 for his trust in Deborah and faith in God’s chosen leadership.

Judges 5:7-13

“The inhabitants of the villages ceased, they ceased in Israel, until that I Deborah arose, that I arose a mother in Israel.

They chose new gods; then was war in the gates: was there a shield or spear seen among forty thousand in Israel?

My heart is toward the governors of Israel, that offered themselves willingly among the people. Bless ye the Lord.

Speak, ye that ride on white asses, ye that sit in judgment, and walk by the way.

They that are delivered from the noise of archers in the places of drawing water, there shall they rehearse the righteous acts of the Lord, even the righteous acts toward the inhabitants of his villages in Israel: then shall the people of the Lord go down to the gates.

Awake, awake, Deborah: awake, awake, utter a song: arise, Barak, and lead thy captivity captive, thou son of Abinoam.

Then he made him that remaineth have dominion over the nobles among the people: the Lord made me have dominion over the mighty.”

8)

1 Kings 17

The widow of Zarephath, a Gentile in a region that worshipped Baal. I think she was scrappy; gathering her two sticks to make a final meal for herself and her starving son. She persevered in the worst times. But when Elisha asked for a meal and gave her a promise from God, she decided to give to others in need in spite of having so little. She did the right thing even at potential cost to herself, and was rewarded with food for the survival of herself and her child. She is distraught when her son sickens and dies, but goes to the man of God for help (and to give him a piece of her mind). God, through Elisha, heard her grief and restores the life of her son. Increasing the faith of this struggling, widowed, single mom. 

Jesus speaks of her in Luke, and I think that’s so incredible. Right before speaking of the widow, Jesus tells the listening crowd that God sent him to preach to the poor, to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, recovering sight to the blind, and set at liberty them that are bruised. The widow was most of those things. I love so much that Christ thought of her story in that moment.

Luke 4:24-26

“And he said, Verily I say unto you, No prophet is accepted in his own country.

But I tell you of a truth, many widows were in Israel in the days of Elias, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, when great famine was throughout all the land;

But unto none of them was Elias sent, save unto Sarepta, a city of Sidon, unto a woman that was a widow.”

9)

Job 2

Job’s wife, unnamed and given only a few words in the scripture. “Curse God and die,” is what she is most known for. I think this is a narrow view of a mother who just lost all the same things Job lost. Her grief over losing 10 children must have been soul crushing. I cannot imagine such darkness. She questioned God’s faithfulness. Most of us have when experiencing a broken heart. She must have wondered, as she held the broken bodies of her dead children, if God even cared about her. She must have felt deep betrayal. What had she done wrong to make God do this to her? She must have wondered why she should go on living. She isn’t with Job and his friends, as far as I know. But she’s around somewhere, grieving her soul out, legs shaking, hands weak, mind clouded in confusion. I wonder if she had anyone to comfort her while Job grieved with his friends.

I find her relatable. I feel pity for her. How many times have I questioned God? I’ve stood in my living room and cursed God,  wondering if he even existed. God brought me back from that brink, and I believe he brought Job’s wife back too. She goes on to have 10 more children (what a champ), and is blessed by God along with Job. Sidenote: I love that Job decides to give an inheritance to their three daughters, along with his sons; unusual for that time and culture. I would love so much to know more about Job’s wife and her relationship with the Lord.

Job 42:12-15

“So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.

He had also seven sons and three daughters.

And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Kerenhappuch.

And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren.”

10)

Matthew 15 and Mark 7

The Cannanite woman, her daughter was grievously vexed of a devil, and she seeks Jesus for help. She has faith in him and knows he can heal her child. She called out to Jesus and he ignored her. The disciples said to send her away, frustrated by her crying. She persists, comes closer, and worships Jesus. He seemingly insults her, calling her a dog. She accepts this, and asks for the crumbs from the table. Humble and undeterred. Jesus is amazed by her faith,”O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.”

This is a mother who would not back down even when the men in charge told her to. I believe Jesus made this a deliberate example for his disciples, who looked down on her, and I believe they learned something beautiful and humbling from it.

 

Mark 7:28-30

“And she answered and said unto him, Yes, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children's crumbs.

And he said unto her, For this saying go thy way; the devil is gone out of thy daughter.

And when she was come to her house, she found the devil gone out, and her daughter laid upon the bed.”

11)

The Proverbs 31 woman, a wife and mother. One of the most business minded and capable managers in the Bible. One whose husband safely trusts in her as she buys land, runs the household, putting her hand to various skill sets. She is diligent, hard working, industrious, careful, strong, confident, a humanitarian, beautifully and functionally dressed, she sells merchandise of her own making, she feeds and clothes her family, she runs a vineyard, and she fears the Lord.

Her husband and children praise her, blessed by the wisdom and gifts she has been given by God.

Wisdom hath buildeth her house and this mother is doing exactly that. Her own works praise her in the gates. I love her. Her price is far above rubies. I love that Lemuel’s mother gives him this prophecy- what an amazing mother in her own right. I wonder if she modeled this instruction after herself. Is this what King Lemuel’s mother was like? What an incredible example he had if so.

Proverbs 31:30-31

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

My favorite parenting verse in the Bible is Deuteronomy 11:18-20

“Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes.

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates.”

I love this relationship between parent and child. Talking, teaching, discipling.

As Luna would say,”Let’s have a chat about God.” And I have no greater joy than this.