Baby Sister is here

Daphne Jade Hoover was born on April 14th @5pm, weighing 7lbs, 12oz. A successful VBAC. I was in labor for a couple days, pushed for a few hours, had some 3rd degree tearing, and brought home a baby. Aaron said,”Wow, babe, you were amazing. With your ponytail and your determined face. Like a tiger or something”. And let me tell you, if tigers whine pathetically for the final hour of pushing their cubs out, then yes, I was the best tiger ever. I now take the whine queen crown from Luna and wear it on my own head. But before my epidural unexpectedly wore off, I was pretty tough and happy, haha! I told the nurse,”This is all so chill and calm!”. After it wore off, I told the doctor I could never finish this and baby sister would have to find another way out. He said,”No, you can do this- now push again.” So I did a bunch more pushing and she did come out after all, much to my surprise. 

Luna was so happy to see baby sister. She seemed to understand way more than we realized. Aaron brought her into the hospital room, and she ran right up to Daphne and said,”Hi, baby sister!” like it was the most natural thing in the world. Daphne cried during her hearing test, and Luna concernedly told the nurse,”Gentle! Gentle!” waving her little hands around in caution. She loves to hold her. She loves to kiss her. She gets really distressed by her crying and will cry along with her if it goes on too long. I love seeing her love on her little sister. It’s so precious and special.

This birth has been a lot more difficult than Luna’s was. The birth itself was more difficult. Recovery has felt pretty similar so far. But the biggest surprise of all- that I 100% didn’t expect: Aaron and I have had a really hard time adjusting to Luna’s new role as older sister. No longer the only child and little baby. Meanwhile Luna isn’t struggling with this whatsoever. Luna is pretty much just walking around like everything is awesome. 

Aaron was making a cup of coffee with Luna earlier. She loves to stir in the sugar for him and sneak pieces of it into her mouth. He and I stood there at the coffee bar crying over the fact that Luna will never actually fit into her baby hiking backpack again. And just in general crying over the change for Luna. Aaron was like,”Babe, I didn’t realize that would be the last time I ever hiked with her that way. And I’m worried she’s going to feel left out now with Daphne getting all the attention.” And my emotions and hormones were already on the verge of disaster so we both just let it out. And Luna sat there kicking her fat feet against the coffee bar, sticking her fingers into Aaron’s coffee mug and the sugar bowl, cheerfully chatting to us about her happy life.

A few minutes later we sat down to nurse Daphne and read books to Luna. I got the cutest book from the library for Luna a few weeks ago: A Baby Sister for Frances. As Aaron read it we saw that there was a little pink trike like Luna’s in the book. Frances’s parents sang her songs at bedtime like we do with Luna. Then the book takes a dang dark turn and next thing you know Frances is sitting under the kitchen table feeling lonely because baby sister is getting all the attention. Frances thinks she’ll just run away from home. Frances wonders if anyone loves her still. Aaron looked up at me in distress. I wondered aloud if the library would care if we burned this book that was clearly written in hell. 

A couple months ago I asked Aaron to choose baby sister’s name. We never could seem to find a name that we both loved together. Daphne was on my list of names that he looked through, and Jade was one he loved. He put the two together and I just really, really love it. It’s the perfect name. Sweet and old-fashioned. Luna pronounces it “Dapheen” like she has a french accent. When we first told her the name she excitedly said,”Daffy duck!!!” so Daphne gets called that quite a bit now. I mostly call her Luna by accident.

Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum have a lot of aspects that I really hate. I don’t like blood, guts, vomit, pain, adult diapers, rollercoaster emotions, or the other 1,000 negative things that come with bearing children. I don’t think the physical changes to my body are beautiful or horrible; I think they just are what happens and that’s that. I don’t feel empowered or weak; I feel relieved I got thru it somehow. I hear other women saying how beautiful it all is, but I would need illegal drugs to make me view it as beautiful myself. I need a badge that says “I am in travail and sorrow so give me some space, okay.” 

However, there is one common cliche about bringing a new little life into this world that I am 100% on board with: It is worth every bit of it. It is so, so worth it. I look at my two babies and my sweet husband (who has been doing all the housework and changing 900 diapers this week), and think what a wonderful world this is. What a wonderful life. I am somewhere over the rainbow. Fly me to the moon. My heart is full, my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life.

I am so thankful that God did this for me.