June 23, 2011

kid talk

There's a boy down in Boise. His name is Ben. He's fourteen and five foot eleven.
One of my all knowing nieces told me last week that all girls in their right mind have had a crush on Ben at some point. All girls. Because he's so cute and nice. And a hunk. And makes their hearts flutter.
This is Ben with Emma last summer.

Definitely a teenage hunk.
Apparently, Ben has grown into an even handsomer heartthrob since last summer.
Karen is in Boise with the girls right now, and Emma has decided to marry him.
He's nice to her. He swings her on the swings, and makes her laugh, and is a hunk and all that.

But, Emma realized suddenly, when I marry Ben, he'll be an old man!
But, Emma concluded reasonably, women are supposed to be less numbers than boys.
I love that she considers herself a woman. At age six.

Lily and Molly did something bad. I can't remember what, but they were doing it together.
So Grandma scolded them.
And Lil said accusingly, But Molly had the thought!
Which is probably true.

Gimme your cheesestick, Lil, or I'll punch you in the face.

What? I didn't do nuttin'.

Maybe if I smile nice, they won't notice I'm pinching Lil's finger.

Mik likes to wear shorts for teeball.
Because they show off my strong legs, Moma!
I like to wear shorts for the same reason.

Humans. I'll never understand them. This is shooting my dignity to pieces.

Joshua was watching a Genie Bra commercial the other night.
He turned to Shelly and said brilliantly, You need to get you one of those, Moma!
His moma let him know it was his bedtime. Now.

Joshua also said crossly, I don't like all those dark people.
At the dentist. In a roomful of "dark people". Very loud.
This created an awkward moment for his mother.
Then he asked how babies get into mommies tummies. Equally loud.
So Shelly told his father, he was taking Joshua out in public from now on.

Lucy calls suicide self murder.
Did he self murder himself?

I took the girls with me to hand out some brochures, door to door.
I gave them strict instructions not to put any brochures on any doors that said No Soliciting.
So Emma ran up to an elderly gentleman working in his garden and said uber brightly, Here! This is for you! It's for soliciting! You'll like it!
Then she asked me, I did a good job, huh? Right?

Kid talk is interesting.
Especially if the kids are ours.
Our kids are way more interesting than yours.
Except for when my friend Talia's baby girl colored all over the couch with pink marker, and Talia asked her three kids who did it, and the boys said Lyla Jane did it, but Lyla Jane somberly said the bird did it, and pointed to their pet parakeet locked securely in it's cage by the newly markered couch.

I love kid talk.