June 14, 2011

layers

Onion layers.
God has 'em.
Thousands, millions, trillions, zillions, uncountable layers.
Layers that I get to peel back, little by little. Discovering more of Him.

God never gives me more than I can handle.
A trial, struggle, temptation, heartache, disappointment... never more than I can handle.
But once upon a time, I figured I had more than I could handle.
I let God know right away.

Hey, God? See my shoulders? Size extra small. Size petite. Size too little for this load. So go ahead... remove the weight. Thank you in advance.

Look at Me.

I totally would, except that this weight is keeping my head down. So this is the part where You take it away. Here I wait patiently.

Look at Me.

I can't, I snapped, angry. Flicking the sweat out of my eyes. Contemplating my wobbly, buckling knees.  I'm gonna need to see a chiropractor after this weight is taken off. I have the worst backache. Don't think I've ever felt anything so heavy as this, Lord. Lord? If you don't take it from me soon, I'll die. I'll curl up and expire.

Look at Me. Just try. Look at My eyes, you'll see Me looking back at you. This isn't as heavy as you think.

So I looked. And what I saw... love.
Love enough to drown in. Eyes looking at me like He couldn't look away. Drawing me so close. Mesmerizing. Unfathomable. Unsearchable. Stripping me of me.
I couldn't look away. I was amazed and reached out to touch His face.

The weight was still there at first.
But the longer I looked at Him, the lighter it got.
Until finally, it was gone.
And still I looked at Him, and He looked at me.

If you had looked at Me right away, you'd never have even felt that the weight was too heavy for you. I needed you to feel that weight for awhile though. I needed you to learn a lesson from it. It'll make you an oak tree instead of a piece of fluff.

Did You just call me a piece of fluff?

Yep.

Just looking at You gives me strength?

Yep.

So where'd the weight go?

Away. You won't see that weight again.

He took my hand from His face and held it in His own, How about going for a walk?

Ok.

You can still look at Me... I'll watch where your feet go.

Ok.

So we walked, and as we walked I looked at Him and He watched where my feet went, keeping them safe. Keeping the steps of them straight.
And then, I caught a glimpse of a familiar weight... on His back now. Carried for me.

So THAT'S where it went!
I've found another one of Your layers, I said, happily.