January 08, 2011

you know you're an idiot when....

1)  .... you blithely answer yes to this question on a job application  -do you think all people are essentially good?

2)  .... and you totally believe it.

3)  .... you think you know what you're doing as you calmly enter your SSN and bank account information on said job application.

4)  ....you're very happy about the potential job for about an hour until you go back to the website for more info and it isn't there.

5)  .... you suddenly realize that you've been had, that anyone else with average intelligence would've never given out their personal information so easily, and you go into a downward spiral of panic attacks.

6)  .... you google everything about identity theft for the next 24 hours solid until your eyes are bloodshot and your head is bald from nervously twirling your hair between your fingers.

7)  .... you finally accept that there's not a whole lot you can do to stop identity thieves from destroying your life as you know it.

8)  .... so you pray to The Almighty to kill them majorly dead before they can do anything destructive, or to please, please, please at least fry their computers and cause them to lose your information.

"Lightbulb."     -Gru, Despicable Me
I am an idiot. And I am resigned to my fate as an idiot for the rest of my life.
My lightbulb is permanently defective and will never work.